Sarah Helaina-Lee Moore
7-23-96 to 11-22-2001
My sweet little Sarah was born on July 23, 1996, she had to be revived then and they blew out her lungs and she had to stay in NICU for a little over a week. I thought that would be the hardest thing I would ever face; to have to leave my precious baby in the hospital. Little did I know that someday I would face a much harder reality. It feels like the beginning of the end really began on Sept. 11, 2001. I had gastric bypass surgery that day. I had complications in Oct. and became very dehydrated and had to go back in to be scooped and dilated. I was still not feeling well, but the surgeon told me I should begin feeling better soon. Well on Nov. 6th I spent the whole night on the floor of the bathroom sick and throwing up in severe pain. When my husband got home he took me to the hospital where they spent 2 days trying to find the problem. I was in such pain I prayed to die. Finally they discovered I had scar tissue wrapped around my intestines and it was cutting off circulation. They called the surgeon out of surgery with someone else to take me back. He says that I nearly died.. I was very close. I remember praying then that I didn't mind dying if God would just please take care of my babies.. My recovery was very slow. I had to be on strong pain meds.. So during my hospital stay my mother in law came to stay at our house to take care of my children.. Sarah 5, Noah 2, and Jonah 1. I had told her a MILLION times to never, NEVER let my kids play out alone. The problem was that she was used to doing things her way, and she and all my in-laws thought I was just too paranoid with my kids safety.. So even when I got home from the hospital she stayed to take care of them so I could heal. On Nov. 22, 2001 I tucked my children in for their naps, and I took my pain meds and told my mom in law I was going to bed. The next thing I heard was her calling Sarah and Noah. I heard Noah and she said "where is your sister"  He mumbled "pool"  I just about had a heart attack, I jumped out of bed and ran into the living room she had him washing his hands in the bathroom and I said "Noah where is your sister?" He started to cry and said "In the pool."  We had 2 neighbors with pools, so I ran out to go find her. I was crying and praying to not find what I feared. I ran up the hill first, she was not there, then ran back down to the other yard and as I came upon the pool I saw her feet floating and I screamed and fell down. The people were standing near their back door and came running out, they jumped in and pulled her out. They started CPR, and called EMS. The ambulance continued with CPR and took her to the hospital.. They wouldn't let me ride with them I was so scared and mad, and confused.. I prayed the whole way.. We got there and they told us it didn't look good, but they were still trying.. Less then 10 minutes later they came in and told me my precious little girl was gone. At 605 pm on Thanksgiving day (11-22-01) my world ended.. My first born, only girl.. My sunshine was gone.. I wanted to die. Why had God not let me die a week earlier if this was what was going to happen.. Nothing made sense. It happened in Mississippi there are no laws for fences around pools there.. the people that pulled her out were just renters who had only moved in just 2 days prior. The owners did not have a cover on it, or the steps taken down, or a simple cheap fence.. they also did not have insurance covering their pool so they did not even have to help with her funeral cost. They never even said they were sorry. My mother in law felt bad, she couldn't even look at me.. I tried to be gentle on them all, but I wanted to run away and take my kids, I wanted to turn back time and save my Sarah. I had always had uneasy feelings leaving my kids in her care, but I was so sick I had no choice.. If only I had left MS sooner. I moved her body to Oklahoma for burial, and have now moved with my 2 sons here. It has been over a year, but I still miss her just as much or more.. Some days it hurts so bad I don't think my heart can possibly keep going. My advice to all is to always listen to your gut instincts.. I wish I had.. My precious Sarah is now an Angel and I miss her so much, and will love her forever and always..